Chronicles of My Life With a Blonde

General Fiction, Humor, Parenting & Families

By Jax Hix

Publisher : DreamingDragon Publishing

Chronicles of My Life With a Blonde


Jax Hix
Profile of Human Unit, Subtype AB+, Variegated prototype 5 of 6, female:

Jax Hix was born with an assumed name in an assumed town by an assumed woman strictly for liability purposes. Raised by Raccoons, Jax is drawn to shiny objects and ideas. As a scientist unable to work in  More...


Chronicles of My Life with a Blonde is an epic and hilarious tale of antics of a male blonde spouse and the descent of his brunette wife into the depths of insanity.  These stories are true, the participants are not actors.  They are actual humans with a life pending in Washington State, only their identities have been changed to protect the innocent...and themselves from pending lawsuits.  Anyone resembling these characters will be prosecuted for identity theft.  Any similarities...well, you have our sympathies.  No actual animals were harmed in the making of this book...blondes were, unfortunately.  No spoilers, you'll have to buy the book!  So, what are you waiting for?  Clearance price?  Come on, buy the book.  You know you want will give you that joke you were looking for for the office party.

Let me preface this series by stating first and foremost that this is, and will continue to be as long as I remain married to said Blonde Spouse, a work in progress. I'd toyed with the idea of turning these into a book, with the proceeds going to Blonde Spouse's accident prone caused medical bills, damage to home and vehicles, and replacement costs of items destroyed or lost by "His Blondeness." Please note, each story within IS TRUE, and no blondes were harmed in the recording of these chronicles…well, mostly. Chronicles of My Life with a Blonde began as a blog outlet to vent frustration without killing my newlywed Blonde husband. After a few years, it evolved into a record for potential divorce court…until I realized that leaving my muse would be akin to leaving the movie theater during the part in the horror movie where the blonde co ed is the last one left in the house in the woods in the middle of the night in the dark in the storm after all of her friends went to the cellar to check on the fuse box but did not return so she doesn’t know they’ve all been slaughtered by the homicidal maniac waiting in the cellar after having cut the power so she goes to investigate…*breath*…so you know how it’s going to end but you just can’t tear your eyes away all the while screaming at the blonde co ed on the screen to run away as fast as she can but knowing she can’t hear you and will continue anyway to meet her violent end and you are frozen to the spot waiting with baited breath. Life with him was just too fun not to stick around for the ending! And I have learned his greatest gift to teach was that we should all embrace the Blonde within us, the Loki of our souls and the reminder that life is too precious to be so serious with ourselves…instead our mistakes should be an opportunity to laugh while we learn, so our journey is enriched with adventures and misadventures in the making of the palettes of our souls complete. Therefore, this book is dedicated to the Blonde in all of us, with laughter and joy I give you, Chronicles of My Life with a Blonde!

"I laughed til I peed.  You owe me new panties."