EARTHBOUND MISFITS
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Edward O'Leary is a middle-aged
divorcee stuck in a mediocre job. His inability to live up to his deceased
father's expectations has crippled his maturation. Originally from affluence,
the family fortune as since dwindled, forcing Edward to make a living as a
carpenter. It's an honest job offering modest wages. Whatever supplemental
income Edward can scrimp and save goes to pay child support to his two children
and alimony to his spiteful ex-wife.
Edward grew up in an opulent
neighborhood in New York. His father's ex business partner, Remy McAllister (a
corrupt lawyer) and his family, still live across the street from Edward's
former residence. To this day, his best friends remain Pat Keenan and the three
McAllister brothers still living at the same address.
Into their late thirties and early
forties, suffering from Peter Pan Syndrome, the McAllister brothers never grew
up. Remy's wife, Tatiana, an established lawyer in her own right, did the best
she could raising the three rug rats, but perhaps she pampered them too much.
She is a quirky, frail chain-smoker who, wears a black trench coat while
outdoors. Her appearance resembles a witch.
Ralph "Roofie" McAllister is the
oldest of the McAllister children. A forty-two year old, 6'4" drug-dealer, he
supplements his income by selling marijuana to the locals. This massive, hairy
human is a cross between a grizzly bear and a sumo
wrestler.
The middle child, Dexter McAllister,
is one chromosome short of a full deck. He's portly and balding. This martial
arts and weight-lifting enthusiast spends most of his time watching the popular
Spanish channel, Telemundo, with his Rottweiler, Princess and Pong, a
Vietnamese exchange student visiting the McAllister's for the summer. Dexter's
girlfriend, Mary, works as a stripper at a gentleman's
club.
McAllister, is tall, lanky and clumsy. This amateur daredevil thinks he's from
the hood and speaks in a slang dialect. He spends most of his days organizing
Motocross jousting competitions that take place in the McAllister's back yard.
Charlie has trouble with authority figures, has many run-ins with the law, and
it's his father's law connections that keep him out of
prison.
Eventually, the McAllister family
fortune is squandered, causing the splintered family to fend for themselves.
Tatiana tries to keep the family unit together, but it's difficult after she
catches her husband in an extra-marital affair and her marriage to Remy
collapses. The three boys are ill-equipped to make it in the real world.
Roofie, in desperation, falsely confesses to a brutal crime that extradites him
to a foreign country. While in Norway, the eldest McAllister takes full
advantage of the amenities offered by the country's lenient penal system. His
prison is more like a four-star hotel than a correctional facility. Edward,
being the perpetual Samaritan, flies to Norway in a vain attempt to save
Roofie, but is friend beyond redemption?
Told strictly from Ed's point of view,
he shares his adventures experienced with the McAllister
brothers.
